This is Ava

I'm 21 and suffering from anorexia nervosa since 7 years. I'm 1,58m and about 49kg!

Reaching the age of 14, my friends started to look after themselves. Everyone was trying to look great and turn the boys heads by walking down the street. All except me. I always was the little girl, pudgy with glasses. I was "the good friend" not the hot one. But I wanted to be.
So I started imitating my friends. I spent more time with them, listend to there talkes about MakeUp, boys and exercises; I watched them eat - or don't. And at home I remembered everything, wrote everything down in a little diary - wishing to be more like them.
So I exercised, I used MakeUp and I started a diet.

Eating less is eye-catching when you always have been the pudgy-one. My parents, carying and observant, noticed and payed attention. I was forced to find a way to secretly avoid eating. And I was successful. I skipped breakfast and lunch in school and conjured up excuses for dinner or the weekends.
One day I recognized that "it" gained the mastery. I couldn't stop thinking about food, weight and my goals. That was, when my ED developed.

I'm aware of the fact that anorexia is a disease. But as strong I can be in reaching my goals, as weak I am in fighting against my ED. I'm just too weak. Maybe some day I find my way against anorexia, but not this time...

This is Ava, a 21-year-old girl, suffering but with a dream. I wanna be head-turning walking down the street...